Reflection On My Heart

My heart what a strange place it seems to be,
Not quite like other hearts that you see.
It feels so strongly things that are so plain,
Sometimes it verges on the ridiculous and the insane.
It has its own way, sometimes unsure, unfounded.
It can soar in the clouds or be desperately grounded.
It hurts for what it can not acheive or attain,
But it dares to trust and go agasint the grain.
Then the pain it endures sometimes is too much,
It loses its way, forgets how to feel, how to touch.
It sees so much heartache sometimes that it wants to hide,
Overwhelmed by the storms, the crashing tide.
It feels alone even when it is not,
Its even unsure of the good things it has got.
Not because of them, but because of its own confusion,
Wondering if all it has is a dream an illusion.
It wonders at its worth to all around,
Is its purpose known and sound.
Does it do good in all it touches and is near,
Is it good for those it loves and holds dear.
It feels such love for the ones that touch its life.
It is as intense as the pain of being stabbed with a knife.
Love can hurt it as much as the pain
But what it fears is whether it is normal or insane.
Even those closest question its true stabiltiy.
Wondering at its logic and sensiblity.
It senses what things people fear to dare sense,
Its emotions so raw, so truly intense.
Its passion is pumping and flowing in its blood,
Emotions like an incontrolable flood.
It fears people, not knowing for sure what they will do,
Yet trusting some, for it can't help to.
All it wants is peace and understanding,
Not a sterio type , the usual branding.
It wants to love as it wishes without ridicule,
It wants to feel brave and not like a cowering fool.
It wants to be stronger and to stand for what is right.
It wants to be powerful, a guiding light.
It doesn't want to ever turn cold and forget to share
It doesn't want to drive away those who love it and care.
It wants to have respect and be left to grow as it should.
It wants to become what ever it wants and could.
It doesn't want to be passed over and forgotton about,
It doesn't want to be refused or left out.
It doesn't want to live in fear of doing something bad.
It wants to enjoy things and not be left feeling sad.
It wants to forget the past and the deeds that destroy its joy,
It doesn't want to feel like a used, forgotton toy.
It doesn't want to be used or abused because it dares to be kind.
It wants to enjoy each precious moment and joy that it can find.
It doesn't want to feel the guilt that eats away at its foundation,
It doesn't constantly want to be reminded of its limitation.
Oh how it dreads the thought of being alone,
The burden of it weighs on it like the heaviest stone.
Not being alone as a body is without another body there,
But the lonliness of not having someone to listen and care.
It knows it is foolish to worry so about such a thing,
But it fears what each moment each day will bring.
Perhaps time and all its many changes to come,
Perhaps the past uncertainty affecting it some.
It is such a tender and soft heart,
Not real quick, yet still very smart.
If given the credit it needs and deserves,
It would be stedfast with unshakable nerves.
It can not change the world, but oh how it wishes it could,
Make all things right, as it knows it should.
It can not understand the world and all the evil there,
It hates the pain, the hurt, the fear.
It wants forever to be young and to live,
To endure in hearts forver it wants to give.
Vanity perhaps is its soul thought in this,
Or not, people just think it and the true thing they miss.
Yes, this heart is vain and proud,
Obstinate in its ways and stubbornly loud.
But so much good dwells in this heart so true,
So much it has endured and gotton through.
It is sorry for things that it has done that were not right,
But in the battle for good it still wants to fight.
All it asks , in its most feeble way,
Its longing day after day,
Is to be given a chance its own way to define,
The heart God gave, this heart of mine.